Don't you love reading all the lists that come out at the end of the year? Most Affable Car of the Year, cheese of the year, celebrity death of the year; the hits keep on coming. I've had a particularly long hiatus from this blog thanks to a properly head busting year and a half of work, so here's my contribution to the period point of 2015. Most disappointing performance, starring the Holden Malibu.
Aiming for the Centre Mass A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, some numbskull decided that Holden needed a new mid-sized car to replace the Vectra. For those who missed the festivities that began with the locally built Vectra B and ended with an over priced, imported Vectra C technical extravaganza, you may have blinked and missed the arrival of the Holden Epica. Marketing praised its hushiness thanks to a range of "Porsche developed" in-line six cylinder east-west engines..... which basically makes it Holdens 914...but with 4 doors and front wheel drive and made in Korea so...... I drove the 2.0 5M when it debuted and dubbed it "automotive Valium". If I'm honest, at the time I was a bit of a junior when it came to getting the best out an engine, so I may not have been flogging it appropriately. Nonetheless, *yawn* I did find the seats reasonably comfortable but forgot what else I liked before gently putting my head down for a nap. As time went on, I saw the occasional Epica turn up on my local roads. Then the diesel turned up and the mid sized box of mediocrity become less occasional and more common. I'm not talking Corolla levels of ubiquity here (obviously) but there was definitely an up tick of interest from the market. I definitely noted a large number of generally olde folks taking favour with the car of no flavour. There was also competition from the Blue corner in the shape of the Ford Mondeo. Sourced from Belgium, it made the Epica look like the value proposition that it was. The Mondeo won every comparison aside from cost, where a mid spec version would set you back around 38k vs the Epicas "top spec" (which was actually pretty basic) which weighed in at 33k. Five years later, depreciation has set in and the Epica finally fronts up with a win, shedding $25,240 vs $28,890 for a Mondeo Zetec. I know what you're thinking: "that's pretty faint praise Mick", and also possibly "what the hell does that have to do with the Malibu?" I'm getting there. Who's been to Malibu? I don't think it was the same numbskull, but it was a numbskull nonetheless, who decided that the global replacement for the slow burning oil burner should be adorned with a very non-global moniker: Malibu. Apparently it's a sunny place in a far away land, but it's also the name of a cumbersome watercraft that doesn't turn very well.... I was just as eager to find a glimmer of hope in the Malibu as I was when I first drove the Epicac. What I found was an alien design with alien fabrics and weird giant buttons. It felt neither sunny nor global, and definitely not local. The diesel was an awful racket and the steering equally disappointing.
I found some solace in the 2.4 petrol CDX with a fairly comfortable front seat and amicable though distant electric steering. However, the boot was huge and the design (aside from the vaguely Camry-esque front end) had some great angles. It wasn't until the second coming of the diesel that I found a product suitable of local acceptance. Adoption of the electric rack made a massive difference and all of a sudden the Malibu had a shot at the market. So what did marketing do? They took a swing at thin air. The TV ad tried to convey an image of escaping the city. Not exactly unique nor new, but most importantly, it did nothing to get the attention of people who may have been vaguely interested. The Malibu is not a bad car. In fact I quite enjoyed using it (ironically) to escape from home for the weekend. I packed up the family with everything we needed for a day trip (which fit easily in the enormous boot) and headed to the country. The kids had fun, my wife was comfortable, and in the name of science, I even took the long way home and gave the Malibu a battering over some local gravel roads. It didn't just survive. It excelled.
It's a really good car. In that regard, however, the Malibu is not alone. There are plenty of really good cars on the market. Holden did give me the car for a month though, so that I could use it as a basis for comparing commuters over my usual daily commute (105kms each way). I averaged 5.2 L/100kms and got as low as 4.5. This is exactly where the Malibu shines AND it's also where its predecessor gained market traction. So my award for most disappointing performance is not aimed at the product itself. It's for the marketing effort not standing up and yelling: "HEY OLD PEOPLE, THIS CAR IS CHEAP TO RUN AND WILL SAVE YOU MONEY IN THE LONG RUN!". I think with more focused presentation, the Malibu could have had a better showing.
It's like the new Commodore ad. There's no wishy washy "lovely family car for Australia" prattle, just the LS3 punch in the face.
Holden aren't on their own with this, but I hope that in 2016, when advertisers pitch a product, they aim it at a corner of the market instead of general malaise in a general direction.
Stop pretending your product is all things to all people. Especially when in some respects, it's middle of the road.
How disappointing. I received an email from Quantum Market Research:
Hello,
Recently you showed some interest in buying an SUV called the Ford Kuga. Ford is very interested in asking you some questions regarding what you thought of the Ford Kuga and what you look for when purchasing an SUV.
Oh goody, someone cares about what I think! some one is "very interested" in what I think and what I look for!
Unfortunately, after 5 qualifying questions, I was booted out!Apparently that first statement in the email was a total lie, and now I, as a potential customer feel like I am not interesting and my thoughts are not important.
Of course that's not entirely true, in that I didn't feel that way, but some potential customers may have, and of course my opinion is important.
Way to distance the customer from the product Quantum Market Research.
Here's the 5 Qs:
Are you male or female?
How old are you?
What state are you from?
Have you bought a new car?
Do you work in the automotive industry/nooz?
Unfortunately, I didn't qualify (and it wasn't the last question because I said no. The Automotive industry is not my profession). Whether that was because I wasn't the correct configuration or Quantum Market Research are Blues fans (Go Maroons!) is irrelevant. I have an opinion on the Kuga and I'm going to share it dammit!
It's heavier than a Commodore Evoke wagon and only marginally more efficient, however the cost of the required premium fuel would certainly mean greater running costs.
That's before even talking about servicing costs or the possibility of using the greener LPG option for the local product.
Statistically the Kuga appears markedly under powered with the 1.6 ecoboost. I am fairly confident that fuel consumption would be pretty ordinary under load, particularly in hilly areas. Why on earth would you use a 1.6 in the Kuga but a 2.0 in the Falcon (which weighs less!)? #weird
Of course there is good news to be had though, in the frugal and grunty 2.0 Diesel coupled with the direct shift 6 speed transmission, but it's going to cost you 40k at least for the privilege (which isn't too bad really).
Image:Carsguide.com.au
You get points for how it looks too. The design is reasonably good for the upper end of the segment, however, it has just stopped being contemporary. It's now out of date. If you sit a new X-Trail next to it, it's Star Trek (the one with the young hot Kirk) vs. Leonard Nimoy in Star Trek IV the Journey Home. Have a guess which is the Vulcan.
Interior wise, the Spanish built Kuga is mid pack, mainly due to the centre stack which looks like something Sony designed in the late 90's. I do have "a problem" with Sony in that I still think they're cool, but I'm partying like it's 1999. No one else is.
Now here's the rest of the good news: I don't REALLY care about any of that stuff (except the 1.6 Ecoboost).
What I'm looking for is; how well I can fit the kids seats?
How easy it is to get the pram/portacot/lilo/esky/8 changes of baby clothes/300 nappies/tent etc. (dependent on requirements at the time) loaded into the back...... and then access the clothes bag to retrieve the only Octonauts DVD that is required (the other 4 are the wrong ones).
Can I easily pass a frozen coke fruit popper to the seat behind me?
Does the cover of the centre console bin become wobbly after kids constantly use it as a thoroughfare to escape when you are trying to buckle them in?
How easy is it to get the McDonalds fries out from next to the front seat rail?
Is there somewhere to store a spare change of clothes and emergency wipes for the juniorest burger (we're potty training)?
If, for some strange reason I actually drive on some wet grass, will my pretend 4X4 have the guts to pull itself up that seemingly innocuous knoll without awkward slipping and revving whilst the other dads at the camp ground point and laugh nervously hoping they don't have to do the same with their flimsy french poodle Peugeot?
According to your survey, you already know I'm not your target market. I mean sure I'm a mid level white collar professional under 40 (just) with three kids and a 3 year old car I bought new, but who's interested in what I think?
Maybe next time around, we will buy an SUV because as I try out more of them, I can see their practical value, but they are still slow as shite.
Right now, many SUVs are still badly done cars or weak sauce off road vehicles, with almost minivan practicality. They are rapidly moving toward becoming more car like, and that's a good thing (handling wise) but they need more power!
Think about it. SUVs are supposed to be for holidays as much as the everyday. But when you are on holiday, that is when you have the least rearward visibility, the highest load and usually the longest travel time. They are all risks. The last thing you need is to find out that 240nm really isn't a lot when you are trying to overtake a caravan on unfamiliar roads.
Chances are, I'm just going to buy another Commodore wagon anyway, because my wagons already do what I want (except for retrieving fries from next to the seat rails) and I can safely rely on the little bit of extra power to safely overtake, irrespective of if I have my whole family on board with all our camping gear or not.
So there you go Quantum Market Research. That's what I thought of the Ford Kuga and that is what I look for when buying an SUV. Not that you care. I don't qualify.
Bigger, faster, stronger. These were the hallmarks of the new car model; model after model after model. Is it climate change that has now seemingly put a stop to the old school mantra of progress, or, just the shrinking of wallets? Either way, Australia's supposed dinosaurs are still leading the way in efficiency. Yes, you read that right. In possibly the most redundant statement of all time, the release of a new version of whatever, is always heralded with the proclamation of "BEST EVER". 'They' have been saying it for years and it was easy to do so because progress was always measured in the same way. Shampoo usually has 50% more essential shinnervesance, and beauty cream reduces lines in 12% more self assessed participants. With respect to cars, it has always been the aforementioned size, speed and strength. With the impending arrival of the New VF Commodore, you can expect more of the same, with regard to proclamations of succession and progress, but the reworked car will be no larger than it's predecessor. In fact, through the use of aluminium and other modern engineering wizadry, it will shed the combined weight of my wife, a carton of Crown Lager and a decent family roast. (Call it 70kgs if you must). So how does this relate to real life? Well if the Commodore were on The Biggest Loser, 70kgs would present a total weight loss of 4%.... keeping the Commodore above the yellow line and excluding it from elimination..... . Okay, not the best example. Let's have a look at how it looks against some of the competition. Currently the Holden Omega Sedan has an ADR rated fuel consumption of 8.9L/100kms. That puts it ahead of the Toyota Aurion and Honda Accord V6, but on par with the 2.0T Jaguar XJ ($68,990). "How can that be?" I hear you ask. The base model Commodore is as efficient as a Base model Jaguar? Surely not. It is because the Jaguar is getting a little on the porky side. At 1745kgs, it will soon be around 200kgs heavier than the VF Commodore, which is me, my wife and the aforementioned sundries, but exchanging the roast for a side of lamb. Even BMW with their smaller previous generation 530i would be bested by Holden's soon to be be replaced base model when it comes to economy. Mercedes Benz E350 was also less efficient up until mid 2011 with the arrival of their Blue Efficiency variant which retailed for over $130,000. And of course the Euros all require either 95 or 98 RON. So what options are there, besides smelly diesels, that will cost you less than 6 figures? An option from the blue corner, of course. Right now, Ford have the Ecoboost Falcon that has a combined ADR figure of 8.1 L/100kms. That's better than the current E350 Blue Efficiency model from Mercedes Benz, and, it can be had for less than $38kAUD. In fact it is even cheaper than it's Euro stable mate Taurus... er Mondeo, which incidentally also costs more to service and is smaller, and is poxy front wheel drive. The new VF Commodore is already being built and will be released in June. Key improvements will be in interior design and technology, efficiency through weight reduction, and, very competitive pricing. Hopefully people will forget their prejudices and see for themselves if Holden have honed in on the decreed preferences of the market. It will no doubt be, the best ever.
Yeah so I changed the title to avoid either Scientological or commercial (same thing really) liability.....
Soon, unless you like the same boring crap as every other automaton, your favourite thing is going to be cancelled. This is not a new development. Anything remotely defined by being different, is living on borrowed time and it is because of that ominous monstrosity called risk.
Used since the dawn of litigation to not only put a value on fun, but also to quantify how much you can have, and, how much it will cost to have more, risk is the financial impact of a failed plan.
That's the business related definition anyway and that's the aspect (the dominant influence at least) currently pointing a loaded calculator at the head of your favourite product.
If you've seen those stories about Gen Y or Z or whatever being more interested in mobile technology than mobility technology, and the associated cacophony from the automotive opinion-o-sphere, then you have also seen a prime example of how obsessed modern business has become with risk.
Now, any automotive product developed with Gen Y in mind is less likely to succeed (unless it's a rectangle with round corners and we know that can't happen without a lengthy patent war). Therefore, making products for these yoofs is a riskier form of product development. Even worse, these young adults (which have barely experienced life mind you so are hardly in a position to determine what it is they actually want) could reduce demand for automobiles in the future, causing total collapse of car culture and the industry as a whole!
It really is best if everyone just invests in mobile technology and spends all their development cash on thinking of new and exciting apps......
Or, of course, you could do what happened waaaaay back in 1995. I was a mere 20 years old and didn't even want a mobile phone. What I wanted was something that scared the shit out of me, and I got it in the form of a 1988 NSR 250 motorcycle (which I ended up crashing.... often). One thing I had no interest in was Japanese sedans or 5 door hatchbacks. Then this happened:
I was in the back seat (sideways mind you as rear seat leg room wasn't a strong suit for the Impreza) as a friend of mine took the first WRX in Toowoomba for a test drive. The dealer, sitting in the passenger seat, offers some vague permission "it's only just arrived so feel free to make a little noise".
Two seconds later, I'm airborne over the Herries Street railway crossing.
Now the WRX was not the first vehicle of its kind. In fact another workmate had a Mazda 323 Turbo AWD but that was quite soggy and slow in comparison, and when was the last time you saw one of them or a Ford Laser TX3) on the road? Subaru had a hit on their hands which redefined their reputation beyond dependability (which came from their other segment maker the Brumby/BRAT) to a haven for enthusiasts.
Now this may sound counter-intuitive so take a deep breath, 2 bravery pills and try not to sprain your heartilage:
You do not mitigate risk by making a product that is the same but ever so slightly different to the competition. You mitigate risk by making a ground breaking product.
What seems to be happening lately is that companies try something briefly, accept the outcome of a focus group as representative of society as a whole and decide it best to direct development funds to the current growth segment.
When it comes to growth segments in Australia and the North American market, SUVs are the strongest, which in one dimensional world says "low risk", but you know what? There will never be another ground breaking SUV (I can't remember the first or last one) and it seems that they have become as good as they can get. Where, then, is the room to improve, to become the standard bearer. SUVs are now so similar in specification, and function, and economy, and price, that every single one of them has a higher proportion of direct competitors. That makes every single one of them HIGH RISK with LOW RETURN!
Want more risk? Where do your peers go when they want to know about new cars? Since everyone likes to be perceived as a know it all these days, they head on line. And what type of car creates the most content on line? The kind of car that car lovers love.
The Subaru BRZ sold out in Australia in a single day and it didn't even get as much coverage as the Toyota FT 86. The non-turbo twins are run away hits and it's not because they copied anyone else in their segment. (are they even in a segment with anyone else?)
It was high risk from a one dimensional focus group point of view. Who would want a sports car with meagre torque and cramped accommodation and it doesn't even have a turbo!?! Everyone it seems. It was low risk to anyone who knows anything about car culture and the current state of the industry.
Now forget for the moment, development costs and consider the value of the product. What has it done for Toyota and Subaru as brands?
Toyota has recalled MILLIONS of cars over the last 3 years and Subarus last WRX was such an under-steery porpoise that it had to go back to fat camp before being allowed back out into the public.
All is forgiven because someone finally made something to rave about and it's not even very fast.
Get out of the box and build something different. It's too risky not to.
I know there will be a million risk specialists that will pick at this post because you need to specify the risk in order to attribute appropriate mitigation, but I am referring to net product risk which is a term I just made up especially for this disclaimer.
That's right: self-inflicted. The main vehicle in our family is a rather gorgeous and willing, Sizzle red Holden SV6 Sportwagon. It's got whizz bangs and geegaws up the whatsit.You can access all the iWizardry of my iPhone 4 via the illuminated thumb wheel on the multiadjustable steering wheel. The phone book in said phone is accessible through the touch screen on my centre console, as is recent call history. I can switch between iPod streaming, USB connection, HDD burned CDs, or if I'm feeling old skool, AM/ FM radio.
The engine management system ensures that fewer baby whales are killed by my right foot than ever before (can't say the same for Japan or South Korea), and, we are hardly struggling for grunt with 210+ KW pushing the rear wheels in appropriate directions with impressive enthusiasm.
There is also an arms length of sensors and design elements incorporated to give my family maximum safety (5 Stars says NCAP). Best of all, if I am suddenly confronted by Skippy leaping across the highway in the rain on a Sunday afternoon, all that electrickery (AKA Electronic Stability Control or ESC) will bring myself and my family to a halt in the fastest and safest way possible. Skippy hops away and we're all feeling warm and fuzzy.
Sounds great right? Well it is, but today I feel a little.... cheap. For the second time this week, I have driven the Sportwagon into the ESC safety net. They weren't massive incidents that I couldn't get out of and the intervention is as unobtrusive as one could hope for, but that is hardly the point.
I spend a lot of time in my piece of crap 10 year old Vectra with a now sagging head lining, manual winder windows and intermittent volume control, honing my car control skills during my daily commute. If I get it wrong in "Victoria" as she is known, things can go pear shaped quickly so I make every consideration about where to stick which boot and when to "spare the rod".
In the Sportwagon however, I seem to have gotten lazy, knowing that ESC will save my ass. It wasn't a conscious decision, but, now I am aware of it, and, I feel like a cheat!
Think about how that will play out in the general motoring public. Drivers will spend less time thinking about what their car is doing, instead, driving to the electronically imposed limit. It's a scary proposition, especially when it becomes the norm for a car to save you from yourself and car companies start getting sued for not taking over when you are trying to text your #bff.
It's not the end of the world. It's not too late. Turn off your OEM installed nanny goats and go do some donuts.
I'm guessing many of you have noticed a clear shift in automotive tastes over the years, where products no longer attempt to reflect the idealogical impressions we had of cars when we were young (unless you were born in the 90's, in which case, you are still young).
I remember when I was about 13, being stunned at the sheer speed of my mates fathers VL Commodore. When he asked me to push the overdrive button on the shifter, all he did was floor that (Nissan) 3.0 litre straight six and make a face like he was fearing for his life. The NVH completed the illusion. I also thought my 1974 HQ Kingswood was fast, but in reality, it was just my first car and therefore accelerated like the space shuttle and cornered like TRON. None the less, I still chase that same feeling of exhiliaration, these days attained by nailing gear selection and apexes through a series of favoured twisties.
Look at vehicles these days and the advertising and product seems more focussed on connectivity to electronics rather than the road. Vibrating, heated seats, Follow-me-home puddle lights and on board golf ball cleaner? A Jedi craves not these things.
How could this be? The very pastime, formerly viewed as a demonstration of adulthood, a freedom reserved only for those having achieved the state determined age requirements and skills to the satisfaction of the local assessor, has become nothing more than an opportunity to obtain a larger Smart Phone docking station.
The content of the product has shifted dramatically from the primary function. "It is what the market demands" I hear you shout. That may be true. No doubt, endless focus groups have already defined your next car for you. Social Media updates available through your GPS narrator, automatic restaurant bookings based on the smell and frequency of your personal emissions, triangulated with your current location. All the "essentials" for modern life.
Most of the input comes from people whom are as interested in cars as I am in the discography of Lady Gaga. Why? When you are building your house, do you ask the garbage man to knock up some blueprints? No longer do most people care about the functionality of their vehicle, with respect to the act of actually driving, thus, their input is inevitably detrimental to such qualities. The result is the slow decay of real cars and therefore a thinning of real car culture.
I am sure that not many people will even care about the atrophy of automotive communities (after all, cars are evil and they kill baby whales), but they should! Why? Because driving requires care and attention. Every road user that is checking their facepic status, is not watching the road, and, despite the bad wrap, [whom I believe to be] real car fans are very attentive drivers who focus more on honing their craft than impressing their buddies.
Manufacturers should take note too. The more they push features that take the focus away from driving, the less important their core expertise becomes to customers.
Do I have an answer on how to stem the tide? No. All we can do is hope that eventually all motor vehicles will become so saturated with features, that everyone has the same superfluous crap. Only then can the focus return to where it should be; on driver involvement and satisfaction.
Has anyone noticed the fundamental problem with social media? It is pretty easy to cite examples and even easier to summarise. Some members of society are complete wankers! The general understanding is that social media provides an avenue for society to interact, yet just like reality TV, the society that you see is influenced by the environment in which they reside.
For example, I have been managing my own brand for the last few months, mainly to understand how the social media environment operates. I would like to apologise in advance to those of you from whom I have tried (rather shabbily) to hide the fact that I am @mikmakGMI, @misterquality and @beltedradial.
Most of you knew the two former were one in the same. @misterquality came around to address issues not perptaining to motor vehicles, but yours truly @beltedradial, came about in order to allow me to say "cock" every now and again when it was warranted, with out damaging the brands to which I was attached.
The penny dropped shortly after my watching Bob Lutz on @autoline After hours describing how an absence of brand clarity at Pontiac, resulted in the ultimate demise of the General Motors performance arm (despite its self inflicted atrophy in the preceding decade or two). Essentially they denied what they always should have been: passionate with grunt to spare.
That is not unlike my own [d]evolution upon becoming a moderator on GMInsidenews. I still love GMI. It provides a great service, and the Brand Management of that site has seen it go from strength to strength. More importantly, the GMI crew have discussed what type of environment we want, decided upon it and focussed therein to great success. But it is not me. I will still contribute there (if they'll still have me), but continuing to restrain myself is like sticking your finger in a dyke. Sure it sounds like fun, but eventually there will be more holes than you have fingers.
Then one of my favourite tweeters @millionsofmyles mentioned recently how he was going to start a blog. A personal blog.
Honesty; what a concept! Surprised I never thought of it because I spent too much time reading e-books about what I'm supposed to do. (dickhead!)
Which brings us to me (the other me). I will be giving @mikmakGMI an electronic bullet in the head in the next few weeks and taking over the account of @beltedradial as my primary personal account. It will be my honest personal feelings about everything. I will be posting all manner of analysis, critiquing and general noise about what ever I feel like commenting about (but mostly cars!).
@misterquality shall be maintained as I'm sure many of you don't give a rats ass about AILs arising from your annual mangerial reviews.
So allow me to introduce myself. My name is Michael McWilliams. I am a conceptual analyst and technical communicator, a dad, husband, car nut and aussie.
I've also been around the track a few times making me feel (and look) like a belted radial.
Please feel free to post eulogy suggestions for mikmakGMI (note: must be <140>
MORAL OF THE STORY: be honest or your brand will die a slow and boring death.
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